In the past month, I worked more than full-time at my full-time job.
I started night school.
I got both kids to dance, hockey, singing lessons, tutoring, play rehearsal, ultimate frisbee and birthday parties.
By some miracle, I also got them fed.
I sold two stories to a magazine and quickly realized I would have to write two stories for a magazine.
I delivered a work presentation I’d been preparing for months to real-life humans in a real-life setting.
I questioned my life’s choices, like is natural deodorant truly the right fit for me.
May was a very difficult year.
How I cope.
When life gets intense, I run away.
For 2.5km. And then I run back.
But with the air quality being poor, I haven’t been able to turn to that coping strategy.
Here’s the other kicker: I ran out of tequila.
Things were looking pretty bleak.
A surprising turn.
So when the email came in at work, I felt a rollercoaster of emotions.
While straddling the burnout line, something truly remarkable happened.
The email said “Your 16.89 percent salary increase starts next week.”
Finally! They see me! I was giddier than my 8-year-old after an ice cream bender at bedtime.
After 11 years of dedicated service, I, Lisa Zeltzer, was getting a pretty sweet pay hike.
My brain did some quick calculations. Could we jump into that basement reno we’ve been putting off? Could I finally take that girl’s trip to NYC?
COULD I EVEN BUY A PELOTON?
That elusive work-life balance was starting to feel within reach.
Or not.
I yelled down to my family “You guys! You’ll never guess what just happened! I’m getting a huge raise!”
Drunk with possibility, I clicked on the offer letter.
“OOPS! THE EMAIL YOU JUST RESPONDED TO WAS A SIMULATION PHISHING EMAIL. DON’T WORRY! IT WAS SENT TO YOU TO HELP YOU LEARN HOW TO AVOID REAL ATTACKS.”
I can’t have nice things.
Back to work-life balance.
So what does work-life balance look like as a working mom?
Well, today it looks like mindlessly ingesting virgin margaritas and chips while responding to the 1000th end-of-school email.
*signs up for plates and napkins with a side of self-loathing for the Fun Fair Bake Sale*